I have to admit, I love the story of Peter. I love how he’s always saying what everyone else is thinking, and how he’s a little all over the place (relatable). I also love his love for Jesus, and how God was able to use him to build the early church.
But let me tell you, it can be a hard thing when you start to relate to Peter a little too much. Here’s what I mean by that.
Peter walked with Jesus for years. He was in Jesus’ inner circle, and knew Him as well as any human knew Him. And he loved Jesus, deeply!
But despite this, he messed up in a way that seems pretty hard to come back from.
Can you imagine how it felt to be Peter, when he’d denied Jesus for the third time? Luke 22:61 says that at that very moment, “The Lord turned and looked at Peter”.
To have done the very thing you said you wouldn’t, to have denied the one you loved and believed in and had followed for years, and then to stare into his saddened, yet loving eyes in the very moment of your betrayal of Him….To be immediately faced with the knowledge of the pain you’re causing Him…That would have to be gut-wrenching.
But maybe you don’t have to imagine. Maybe you have felt the shame of knowing you’ve betrayed the one who saved you. Maybe, despite having a genuine love for and relationship with Jesus, despite knowing you’ve been saved from so much and saved for a purpose, you’ve made deliberate decisions to reject His will in favor of your own.
If that’s true for you, you’re not alone. But honestly, that doesn’t make it hurt any less. Sometimes it feels like you can’t come back from the mistakes you’ve made, that God can’t or won’t love you, or that He’ll leave you.
Often, the narrative in our heads looks like this:
I should’ve known better. And I do know better. God has blessed me in so many ways, and how do I respond? By making the conscious choice to serve myself and to turn from Him? It’s inexcusable.
Lord, I know that You love me, but I honestly don’t see how You could or why You should. I’m bringing nothing to the table but brokenness and betrayal of You.
How could I ever deserve Your grace? How could I ever accept your forgiveness? I deserve to feel terrible about myself.
But let’s look back at Peter’s story.
After Jesus’ crucifixion and resurrection, He’s sitting down for breakfast with a few of His disciples, Peter included. Mirroring Peter’s three denials, Jesus asks Peter a question three times.
Do you love me?
Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.
Do you love me?
Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.
Do you love me?
Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.
Once again, gut-wrenching. But Jesus asks these questions without malice. He acknowledges Peter’s failure, not making excuses for it or pretending it never happened. He makes space for Peter to grieve over it. But after each response from Peter, Jesus says, Shepherd my sheep. He gives Peter the chance to recommit himself to Him, and reconciles him to his future calling of building up His church.
Honestly if I were Peter, I’d be absolutely dumbfounded, thinking there is no way that after the inexcusable rejection I’ve committed, that I could even be allowed in Jesus’ crowd. But now He wants me to lead His church?
So let’s put ourselves in Peter’s shoes, because the Jesus who loves Peter is the same Jesus who loves us.
He loves us so deeply, gives us grace so freely, and is fully committed to our sanctification. Which means that He’s not going to ignore our sin or pretend it’s not a big deal. But if we let Him, He’s going to take our lives – the good and the bad – and redeem them for His glory. Our past mistakes don’t have to exclude us from His future plans.
And you know what? I bet Peter had so much more gratefulness in his heart for Jesus’ forgiveness than he would’ve had otherwise. The depth of his grief over sin made way for him to experience the depth of Jesus’ mercy.
I know that when I’m feeling particularly low about my sins and shortcomings, I can get into a pattern of feeling that God could never really love me, or that I can’t accept His love and forgiveness. And I feel like I have to prove (to God, or to myself) that I’m good enough to deserve His grace.
But imagine if, when Jesus forgave Peter and told him to shepherd His church, Peter said, You know, I think I’ll pass. I feel too bad about myself and don’t believe you when you say you love me. I think you should find someone better to do your work.
Wouldn’t that have been absolutely ridiculous?
Or imagine if a friend of mine gave me an amazing gift that required a ton of sacrifice and was completely unearned on my part. And then if, instead of responding with gratefulness, I spent the rest of my life trying to prove to them that I actually deserved the gift they gave me. That’d be really weird, and kind of rude.
Why, when offered grace so freely, would we then try to earn it, or reject it until we feel worthy of it? When we’re given something amazing that we don’t deserve, the only appropriate response is gratefulness, humility, and joy.
So, if we find ourselves relating a little too closely with the broken parts of Peter’s story, let’s just remember that we also get to relate to the redeemed parts of his story in equal measure. Once forgiven we can live freely, confidently stepping into who God has called us to be, without being hindered by shame or regret.
Related Scripture
Luke 22:56-62
“And a servant-girl, seeing [Peter] as he sat in the firelight and looking intently at him, said, ‘This man was with [Jesus] too.’ But he denied it, saying, ‘Woman, I do not know Him.’ A little later, another saw him and said, ‘You are one of them too!’ But Peter said, ‘Man, I am not!’ After about an hour had passed, another man began to insist, saying, ‘Certainly this man also was with Him, for he is a Galilean too.’ But Peter said, ‘Man, I do not know what you are talking about.’ Immediately, while he was still speaking, a rooster crowed. The Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how He had told him, ‘Before a rooster crows today, you will deny Me three times.’ And he went out and wept bitterly.”
John 21:15-17
“So when they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, ‘Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these?’ He said to Him, ‘Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.’ He said to him, ‘Tend My lambs.’ He said to him again a second time, ‘Simon, son of John, do you love Me?’ He said to Him, ‘Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.’ He said to him, ‘Shepherd My sheep.’ He said to him the third time, ‘Simon, son of John, do you love Me?’ Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, ‘Do you love Me?’ And he said to Him, ‘Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Tend My sheep.'”
Luke 7:41-47
“‘A moneylender had two debtors: one owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they were unable to repay, he graciously forgave them both. So which of them will love him more?’ Simon answered and said, ‘I suppose the one whom he forgave more.’ And He said to him, ‘You have judged correctly.'”
1 John 1:9
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
2 Timothy 1:9
“[God] has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was granted us in Christ Jesus from all eternity,”
Philippians 2:13
“For it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.”
The Girl that Jesus Loved 