If you’re anything like me, it can be scary for you to pray really specific prayers. The thought that often goes through my head is “What if God doesn’t answer me? I don’t want to be disappointed, so I just won’t ask for this thing.”
But honestly, that’s pretty silly on my part. God wants us to ask Him for what we need, and He listens to our prayers. And I do believe that prayer makes a difference, that at specific times and in God’s wisdom He will intervene – either in our circumstances or in our hearts – based on our prayers.
So really, I shouldn’t be afraid to pray just because I might be disappointed. Instead, I should be afraid of missing out on the answers God could provide or the ways He wants to involve me in His plans, just because I was too afraid to ask. Think about the verse that says “you do not have because you do not ask”; doesn’t that indicate how important it is to just try and see what happens?
Now, there will be times when you pray and see God respond. But there will also be times when you pray and God doesn’t seem to answer, or doesn’t answer the way you want Him to. What then?
A while back I was praying for something, and I felt God nudging me, “But how will you respond if the answer is no?”
I had to really wrestle with that. If God didn’t answer me the way I wanted, how would I react? Would I lash out in anger at Him? Would I give up on prayer completely, deciding that He’s forgotten me or doesn’t care about me? Would I refuse to accept His answer and try to make it happen on my own?
If I were to respond in one of these ways, it’d be natural. But I have to remind myself that when the answer is no, it doesn’t mean that I prayed wrong, or that I’m not good enough for God to do what I want, or that He doesn’t care. The only thing it means is that the answer is no.
In Luke 11, Jesus teaches His disciples how to pray. In verses 9-10, He tells them that those who ask receive, and those who seek find, and those who knock have the door opened to them. Then right after that, He says the following:
“Now suppose one of you fathers is asked by his son for a fish; he will not give him a snake instead of a fish, will he? Or if he is asked for an egg, he will not give him a scorpion, will he? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?”
I think one of the reasons Jesus says this right here is because not all of the answers we get from God are what we want. Think about Paul asking God to remove the thorn in his flesh, or even Jesus asking God to let the cup of suffering pass from Him before His crucifixion.
In those moments of disappointment, it would be easy for us to say “You said that those who ask would receive. Then why did I not get what I prayed for?” We might feel as though (to follow the analogy) we asked God for a fish or an egg, and were given a snake or a scorpion instead. And so I think it’s really perfect that Jesus says this here. He reminds us that no matter how unjust things seem to be, no matter how wronged we feel by our circumstances or by God, He is working on our behalf even still. He is providing for us and redeeming our most painful circumstances, even if it doesn’t feel like it.
One last thought – I think we can get it wrong when the answer is yes, too. We can get our desired answer from God and then begin thinking that we got it because we’re just so deserving of it. We can idolize the gift rather than the Giver. We can become entitled, thinking God owes us something.
So whenever we pray, we need to ask ourselves “What will I do, with either answer?”
If the answer is yes, we can thank God and humbly steward what He’s given us. If the answer is no, we can still worship Him for being good and for being the source of our strength to endure. And that frees us up to pray honestly and specifically for what is important to us; we can pray open-handed, knowing that no matter what answer we receive, we can trust the One who hears us.
Related Scripture
Luke 11:1-13
“It happened that while Jesus was praying in a certain place, after He had finished, one of His disciples said to Him, ‘Lord, teach us to pray just as John also taught his disciples.’ And He said to them, ‘When you pray, say:
Father, hallowed be Your name.
Your kingdom come.
Give us each day our daily bread.
And forgive us our sins,
For we ourselves also forgive everyone who is indebted to us.
And lead us not into temptation.’
Then He said to them, ‘Suppose one of you has a friend, and goes to him at midnight and says to him, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves; for a friend of mine has come to me from a journey, and I have nothing to set before him’; and from inside he answers and says, ‘Do not bother me; the door has already been shut and my children and I are in bed; I cannot get up and give you anything.’ I tell you, even though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his persistence he will get up and give him as much as he needs.
So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and he who seeks, finds; and to him who knocks, it will be opened. Now suppose one of you fathers is asked by his son for a fish; he will not give him a snake instead of a fish, will he? Or if he is asked for an egg, he will not give him a scorpion, will he? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?'”
James 4:2-3
“You lust and do not have; so you commit murder. You are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures.”
1 John 5:14
“This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.”
Philippians 4:6-7
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”
2 Corinthians 12:8-10
“Concerning [the thorn in my flesh] I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. And He has said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.’ Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.”
The Girl that Jesus Loved 