But I am in Prayer

“O God of my praise, do not be silent! For they have opened the wicked and deceitful mouth against me; they have spoken against me with a lying tongue. They have also surrounded me with words of hatred, and fought against me without cause. In return for my love they act as my accusers; but I am in prayer.” (Psalm 109:1-4)

This passage begins with the psalmist’s powerful lament over mistreatment from others. He writes of how people have spoken against him with a lying tongue and fought against him without cause. His pain and feelings of betrayal are evident. These verses resonate with me as I am someone who continually wrestles with the desire to be loved and accepted by others, and am often disheartened when I feel others’ rejection in my life. I suspect this is not a unique struggle – we all crave approval and are wounded by the absence of it. In times of conflict, when we feel that no one cares for us, it is easy to feel worthless, or angry, or resentful.

Yet, in verse four, he writes, “but I am in prayer”. With this phrase he realigns his focus on the One who cares for him.

We know we’ll have trouble throughout life and that at times those around us, even those we care for, may be against us. In spite of it all, we are able to say, “but I am in prayer”. The verse does not say “but I am in pain” or “in doubt” or “in bitterness”. Instead, it redirects our attention from the hurts we’ve endured to the One who will never hurt us. From the rejection we feel from others to the One who has formed us, chosen us, and loved us. “But I am in prayer” is not an empty phrase; it reflects an intentional positioning of our hearts. I want my thoughts, my actions, and my life to be totally characterized by being in prayer. I want to be in regular, constant, never-ending communion with God, making fellowship with Him my go-to weapon against the tough parts of life.

Lord, let the whole of my heart, despite – and because of – my earthly battles, be in prayer. Remind me that my worth and my peace are found in You. Help me to crave this fellowship with You, to seek it out, so that I will continually be found in prayer.

Related Scripture

Psalm 55:16-18

“As for me, I shall call upon God, and the Lord will save me. Evening and morning and at noon, I will complain and murmur, and He will hear my voice. He will redeem my soul in peace from the battle which is against me.”

Isaiah 41:9-10

“…I have chosen you and not rejected you. Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you. Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”